


dream sexts

by gabilliam (vvhymack), vvhymack



Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, The Academy Is...
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-10 00:51:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3270611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vvhymack/pseuds/gabilliam, https://archiveofourown.org/users/vvhymack/pseuds/vvhymack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>gabe can’t remember a time when it wasn’t like this, when william wasn’t pressed against him. when william wouldn’t bite bruises into his skin because he didn’t want the world to know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	dream sexts

**Author's Note:**

> the sexts poem is thats underlined is Dream Sexts by Lora Mathis.

** sext: I have this dream where you are biting my bottom lip until it bleeds  **

 

gabe can’t remember a time when it wasn’t like this, when william wasn’t pressed against him. when william wouldn’t bite bruises into his skin because he didn’t want the world to know, when gabe’s skin was blemishless and william was always too gentle, when it didn’t feel like the most pleasant sensation of being owned. he moves his hand to pull william’s hair back and william looks at him, big earnest eyes darkened and they look at each other and it shouldn’t feel as intimate as it does. william breaks the silent truce first, pressing his lips against gabe’s with a harshness that allows a surprised sound to escape gabe’s mouth. it’s tongue and teeth and pulling and tugging and gabe can taste the metallic blood and wonders if it will leave a mark. 

 

** sext: I have this dream where you lean down to kiss me and it feels natural  **

 

it used to be stolen kisses in dark places. hurried. frantic. passionate. like waves crashing against the shore during a storm and gabe was frozen. it would be william wiping off the saliva and fixing his appearance and walking away. gabe doesn’t know when it happened or how or why but the kisses became longer, slower, calmer, like the way the ocean gently kisses the shoreline, gabe’s skin warming up to the warmth of william’s laughter against his mouth. 

 

** sext: I have this dream where you are on a cloud reaching out to me and I coyly run and hide, then suck on your finger till thunder sounds  **

 

sometimes, silently, gabe compares william to deities. wondering if even zeus could cultivate enough lightening to compare with the sparks that emitted when william would touch him. if aphrodite would stop and stare at the amount of love william could offer and the ethereal beauty of his features. if hermes would crash land, if poseidon would look as william looked, staring up at the sky as rain falls, letting the water soak him. if anyone could compare to william when he looks at gabe, a smile playing on his lips and a hand extended, and gabe shakes his head but william grabs his hand anyway and doesn’t let go but doesn’t pull. a mortal standing in the shade and a deity basking in their element, intertwined with a lock of fingers.

 

  **sext: I have this dream where we are happy and fulfilled by each other**

 

to err is human and so is to mistake a beautiful thing for divinity. the moon didn’t ask to be bowed down to, the sun didn’t want the charred sacrifices. they were beautiful but only at a distance and when you got too close, you realize your breath has abandoned you and your skin is on fire. william didn’t want to be divine, he didn’t want to be anything and he felt like nothing but skin and bones curled up beside gabe, erringly, disturbingly human. and gabe couldn’t breathe because he hear william’s uneven breath and gabe didn’t think any living things skin should be as cold as william’s was, gabe’s warmth burning against the iciness. but then again, william wouldn’t call this living and gabe wondered what he would do if william simply. stopped. because the sun and the moon weren’t deities but they were, they were there and disastrously alive and gabe needed william just as much. 

 

** sext: I have this dream where you want to kiss me in public  **

 

william’s hand is pressed against his back and gabe can’t hear the screaming crowd because he can’t feel william under his hand and william is soft and his shoulder bones aren’t pressing against gabe’s hand and william is smiling against his skin and this has gone on longer than it has to but the rest of the world doesn’t exist, not really, not when william presses his lips against gabe’s skin and the screams dull down and gabe thinks it’s ridiculous how his world stops because william has done a lot more than kiss him on the cheek. but he hasn’t done that in public. not like right now, not like this, with william pulling away, his eyes dropping to gabe’s lips before smiling and walking away to the sound to cheers. 

 

** sext: I have this dream where you ask me about my day and do not follow it with an invitation to come over when your parents are asleep  **

 

william’s bunk is as familiar to gabe as his own. he knows the ins and outs and knows when the rest of the band is actually asleep or if they’re just pretending for the sake of gabe’s dignity as he walks out, shirt half worn and jumping into his jeans. it would be a walk of shame if gabe felt he had done anything shameful but he didn’t so it was just a walk. a walk with gabe looking behind his back, wondering if william would come running out, would call out, would wave at him but the bus door remained closed.

gabe sighed.

he was almost to his bunk when his phone buzzed. 

 **bilvy** [05:03 a.m.] did u get back ok?

 to **bilvy** [05:05 a.m.] yea 

 **bilvy** [05:06 a.m.] k 

gabe crawled into his bunk, remembering when he had compared william to aphrodite and ignorantly forgetting that william could just as easily take away the love he so readily poured. 

 

** sext: I have this dream where we tell the truth until it nauseates us  **

 

william is drunk. gabe has to remind himself of this as william whispers sweet nothings into his ear, talks about how he wants gabe in ways gabe can’t even begin to imagine. that he wants to wake up with gabe and not get out of bed but just lie with him, like they are right now. gabe asks whether the bucket with puke in it will have a special guest appearance and william’s exhale of breath tickles his skin as he quietly insists that he’s not drunk anymore and gabe is nodding but really, gabe is just humouring him because he knows when he wakes up tomorrow, william will be gone. so he lets william tell him about how they’d stay in and william wouldn’t even eat meat in front of gabe because william loves gabe. and william wishes so hard that this could happen and gabe nods and brushes his fingers through his hair until william is asleep against him, exhausted from the talking. gabe wishes wishing was enough. 

 

** sext: I have this dream where you throw pebbles at my window every night to lull me to sleep  **

 

their body is different against gabe’s and gabe isn’t even entirely sure who they are. they weren’t soft enough to be william and why would it be william? william, who hasn’t responded to his text in over a week. Read 13:55. fuck you, iphone. the stranger in his bed stirs. awakens. smiles. gabe smiles back, wondering if this beautiful person can see the cracks, if the reason they hastily leave isn’t because their roommate’s calling but because they saw right through gabe’s entire facade. gabe waves at them before turning around and falling into bed again, person already a distant memory, name forgotten as gabe sinks into his pillow. it takes several moments for gabe to realize that the series of noises isn’t some kid playing with pebbles but rather his phone. he reaches for it and it brightens into life, so does gabe and gabe needs to sit up for this because william’s name is on his lock screen and he swipes with shaking fingers and there’s a little number 18 beside the messages icon. his heart is beating fast but in a familiar enough way that his body doesn’t respond to the adrenaline, instead allowing gabe to fall back into bed, smiling softly as he doesn’t type out everything he wants to say. 

 

** sext: I have this dream where I do not try to sell you an idea of myself  **

 

william is laughing. gabe can tell because of the sound but also because william has dropped his phone and now all gabe can see on his screen is williams roof. “you can stop laughing no,” gabe says in a voice disguised to sound disgruntled, as though william’s laughter isn’t the most beautiful sound. william’s face pops back into view and gabe can still see the mirth in william’s eyes. “you’re married to a fashion designer, gabe. i don’t even understand how she hasn’t burned all your clothes.” gabe smiles, remembering erin’s wails of despair at the sight of his old wardrobe. he reminds william that they were donated by gabe himself and william nods before he is giggling again and gabe wonders what he did to deserve this and why he ever brought out that ridiculous shirt in the first place. because his heart is doing things it shouldn’t but gabe has long since accepted that his heart will never make sense where william is concerned. he knows it. erin, who is smiling sadly at him from the other side of the room, knows it. he wonders if william knows it. 

 

** sext: I have this dream where you finger the commodity of me then whisper, I want the real thing  **

 

william may have been overcompensating. gabe didn’t know. gabe didn’t care. he heard william call his name, william curse and sigh and moan through the earbuds and even the pounding of gabe’s heard didn’t interrupt william’s performance. because it was william and even something this discreet, this intimate was a performance. until it wasn’t anymore, until the extravagance fell away to reveal a sighing william with uneven breathing, whispering words too low for gabe to understand even if gabe was beside him and not a video call away because those weren’t words for the open air, they were words meant to be pressed against skin, words to be burned into flesh until it memorized them. when william looked at gabe, breathing slowly, gabe’s last thought before he went over the edge was a reprimand telling gabe exactly how fucked, metaphorically, he was.

 

** sext: I have this dream where I nibble your neck and someone else’s name does not spill out  **

 

gabe’s name is like prayer on williams lips. they’re on a couch and gabe knows this isn’t a performance, that they’re making out like teenagers while being in their 40’s. it’s not something for the rest of the world, it’s theirs, and theirs alone. and gabe is willing to call this place home. 

 

** sext: I have this dream where I ask you what you want and light floods from your mouth into me  **

 

it’s the tenderest kiss, the kind that isn’t a precursor to anything and when gabe asks the dreaded question, what do you want, where to now, william just takes gabe’s hand and presses it against his beating, human heart and tells him anything, anywhere, as long as gabe’s there. and gabe can remember a time when it wasn’t like this, and he smiles into william’s kiss, closing his eyes and simply being.

 


End file.
